Bones Therapy Session!
by YourKarmaHitMyDharma
Summary: Everyone gets together for a group therapy session! What could possibly happen? Mind the rating. COMPLETE CRACK!FIC. YAYNESS!
1. Chapter 1

Sweets- Hello everyone! Welcome to our first group therapy session! YAYY!

Everyone- Supp.

Booth- I LOVE BONES!

Brennan- The cat in the hat was very fat. I am a Poet and I most certainly did not know it.

Sweets- Um, yeah. Ok moving on. Ok so for our first session, we will all do a little exercise! I start with a word and we will all go around in a circle saying the word that comes to your mind first. It's that simple.

Sweets- Ok let's start. Food.

Cam- Platypus

Booth- I LOVE BONES!!!

Brennan- I want a baby!

Everyone- *GASP*

Brennan- Why does this feel like déjà vu?

Michael- WALTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hodgins- Wrong show man.

Michael- Oh…sorry. *walks out of room*

Angela- TEAM JACOB! Ohh those abs. *grins to herself*

Wendell- I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! *jumps out of window*

Fischer- *whispers* I see stupid people…

Booth- I LOVE BONES!!

Sweets- Ok, obviously this isn't going anywhere, so-

Zack- *cries* my hands hurt.

Brennan- ARGHH! I CANT REMEMBER MY NAME.

Everyone- Ughh.

Sweets- Ok so we basically wasted all of our time so we'll just meet up tomorrow.

Cam- FINALLY, I really have to pee.

**Ok I know its really bad, but I'm so bored and I elt like doing this, no mean comments. Ik its horrific!! Lol but please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own anything, sadly.. **** Ok so heres my shot at chapter 2! Enjoy! Oh and please review it makes me write faster and im open to all suggestions or anything like that, so review!!**

Sweets- God give me strength. *Walks into room* Ok! Welcome to our second group session!

Everyone- Ayy.

Sweets- Um, ay. Ok so for today we are going to have an open conversation, we are ALL going participate and we are ALL going to be entirely honest. This is the circle of truth. * uses hands to show example of circle* We will be talking about feelings today.

Cam- Why cant it be a square of truth?

Angela- Or how about a triangle?

Booth- I LOVE BONES!!

Clark- Ughh…

Gravedigger- I HAVE A COMMENT.

Sweets- Great! What do you have to add?

Gravedigger- Well, I have to say that my feelings were really hurt when Dr. Brennan slapped me in the face, it really hurt me. It made me feel like I was hated.

Brennan- ARGHH! I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER MY NAME!

Everyone- BRENNAN!

Booth- I LOVE YOU!

Sweets- Ok back to the subject, Dr. Brennan are you going to apologize?

Brennan- I'm sorry for hitting you… * sad face*

Angela- * yawn*

Cam- Ugh can I leave?

Hodgins- Hey man! Don't be hatin cause you aint in! Fool.

Fischer- Life is always the cause of death…

Wendell- That's deep man.

Zack- Oi.. My hands still hurt.

Brennan- I still want a baby!

Everyone- *GASP*

Angela- Brennan!

Brennan- What Angela?

Booth- BONES!

Sweets- EVERYONE!

Michael- WALTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hodgins- Dude, why do you keep coming here?

Michael- I have no idea.

Sweets- The Lost therapy session is down the hall to the right.

Michael- Oh thanks man, hey I'm just going to stick around here.

Brennan- Oww!!

Everyone- What!!

Brennan- I bit myself again!

Michael- How did you-

Cam- Please, it would be better if you didn't know.

Sweets- OK! We will see each other tomorrow! *runs out of room*

Howard Epps- What's his problem?


	3. Chapter 3

**Kk so heres my try at the third chapter! Review! I really love and appreciate hearing what you have to say! Umm ok so I'll try to be really random. **

Sweets- Ugh ok here we go. Heyy! Welcome back!

Hodgins- DUDE! Your bald!

Sweets- Yeah, you guys put way to much stress on me which made all of my hair fall out.

Hodgins- Fool.

Booth- I LOVE BONES!!

Brennan- If you put skittles in water, you can taste the rainbow!

Sweets- Ok! Ok so let's move on shall we?

Angela- I don't know sweetie, shall we?? *grins mischievously *

Clark- Ugh.

Zack- Hey big daddy! *at Booth, tries to give him high five*

Booth- Call me big daddy one more time, and I WILL kill you.

Cam- Ok, you know what Booth? SHUT UP!

Booth- MAKE ME.

*Booth and Cam start punching each other*

Brennan- *in a quiet voice* I'm scared…

Howard Epps- DON'T FEAR! HOWARD EPPS IS HERE!

*Runs out of room and runs back in with overly-tight superman costume on*

Angela- That's disturbing.

Fischer- You wanna know what's disturbing? YOUR MOM!

Brennan- I don't get it…

Michael- WALTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone- Ugh.

Goodman- What's your problem!

Michael- Walt?

Goodman- AND WHO'S WALT?? WHY ARE MY QUESTIONS NEVER ANSWERED? WHAT THE HECK IS A SMOKE MONSTER?!?

Michael- Whoa man, chill out.

Sweets- seriously.

Booth- * Out of breath* I.. *breath*…. LOVE……*breath*…BONESSSS!!

*Booth faints*

Hodgins- Fool.

Cam- Haha oh yess.

Brennan- OWW!

Angela- Did you bite yourself again?

Brennan- No..

Sweets- Then what happened?

Brennan- I don't know…

Angela- Then why'd you say ow?

Brennan- I don't know…

Hodgins- Fool.

Clark- Ughh.

Fischer- Death, it's so deadly.

Wendell- Whoa man, THAT'S deep.

Cam- The ocean is deep.

Michael- I don't like water.

Angela- Why are you still here anyway?

Brennan- There once was a guy named Guy, he wanted to fly in the sky….

Clark- Ugh, here we go.

Howard Epps- *still in his costume* I have a question.

Sweets- What. Is. It.

Howard- If I'm dead, how am I here?

Jimmy Neutron- Well Howard, That's very simple actually.

Everyone- ITS JIMMY NEUTRON!!

Jimmy- Heyy.

Daisy- AHHH, OMG ITS JIMYY, . HA. Ha, haa. Ha

Hodgins- Whoa.

*Everyone stares at daisy*

Daisy- What??

Sweets- Ok, umm. Sessions over, see you tomorrow.

Brennan- Already? Awww poopsicle.

Booth- I. LOVE. BONES.

Wendell- * Jumps out of window (again)*

Michael- What's up with him and windows?

-end- (for today)


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok so here is chapter 4! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! Haha so review review review!! It makes me write more and faster! Ilyy.**

Sweets- *sighs* They do not pay me enough for this. *Slowly walks into room* Hello everyone!

Brennan- Ello Love!

*everyone looks at Brennan*

Brennan- What?...

Sweets- Ok! Um where's Wendell?

*Wendell busts down the door*

Wendell- IM HERE!

Angela- Where were you?

Wendell- NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX!

Booth- I LOVE BONES!

Sweets- Ok.. Um so today we are going on a field trip!

Everyone except Hodgins- Yayyy!

Hodgins- Fool.

Wendell- *jumps out of window*

Cam- Where are we going!?!?

Sweets- Well, I want to see how all of you interact with other people in a public place, so we are going to the mall. * Whispers to self* God help me…

*Everyone arrives at the mall, Wendell heads directly for the window store, while everyone else runs to get ice cream*

Brennan- I want Chocolate!

Booth- No I want Chocolate!

Brennan- I WANT CHOCOLATE!

*Brennan takes the last chocolate flavored cone and eats it in a matter of seconds*

Booth- NOOO!!! *falls on the floor and starts to cry*

Cam- YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

Booth- SHUT UP

Cam- You shut up!

*Booth and Cam start punching each other (again)*

Hodgins – Fool.

Michael- *randomly appears out of nowhere and stats running around in circles.* WALTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clark- Ughh.

Fischer- OH LOOKIE A KITTY!

Gravedigger- KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!

*Fisher and the gravedigger start to spaz out.*

Clark- I'm going to head over to the salon.

Angela- *snickers*

Booth- Sweets!!!!! SWEETS!

Sweets- Yes, agent Booth?

Booth- CAM STOLE MY JUICE BOX!

Cam- NO I DIDN'T!

Booth- YES YOU DID! LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

*Cam and Booth start to punch each other (again)*

Daisy- *accidently gets punched in the face*

Brennan- BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!

Howard Epps- IM GIVIN IT ALL SHE'S GOT CAPTAIN!

*people start to stare, they called security by now*

Security guy- Ok, ok time to leave.

Everyone- NOO. *cries*

Michael- WALTTTTTT!

Walt- DADDDDDD???

Michael- WALTTTTT?????

Walt- DADDDDDDDD!!!

*Michael and Walt have a father-son moment*

Everyone- AWWW!!

Hodgins- Gross.

-end-


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok!! 5****th**** chapter! You know the drill, review!!! Ok I'm going to try really hard on this so yeahh! Ugh I can't type right now, my hands are freezing! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!! Ohh and I have school, soo that's why I haven't been updating, sorry **

Sweets- Ok! So yesterday was rather….interesting… But today is a new day!

Angela- WOOT WOOT!

Sweets- Good enthusiasm Angela! Ok so as you can see I barred up the windows so Wendell won't jump out of them anymore.

Wendell- YOU WHATTTT!!

Sweets- Sorry dude.

Wendell- AHHHHHHHHHHH!

* breaks down the bars on the window and jumps out *

Brennan- HAHA do it again!!

Booth- I. FRIGGIN. LOVE. BONES.

Angela- Ok so like when I was five I ate peanut butter but like I didn't know I was allergic so my face got all fat and puffy and my nose fell off. But don't worry I glued it back on.

Fischer- Awesomee.

Cam- I would like to bring up an issue!!

Sweets- Great Cam! Go ahead.

Cam- Ok so Hodgins is being really mean to me lately-

Hodgins- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. No one cares! Fool.

Cam- You see the bullying going on here?!?! *sniffs* What's that smell?

Booth- Clark made a funny! *snickers*

Clark- I DID NOT MAKE A FUNNY!

Brennan- It smells like a funny.

Angela- Whoever denied it, refried it!

Clark- *cries and runs out the room*

Fischer- BALDIE!!

Clark- *screams from the hallway* THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Sweets- Ok, ok that's enough!!

Howard Epps- What are you, my first grade teacher??

Brennan- HAHAHA OMG THAT'S SO FUNNY, OMG I JUST PEE'D MYSELF HAHAHAHAHA WOW HAHAA OMFG HA!

Zack- *sniffs* I miss my first grade teacher. *cries*

Wendell- *mysteriously appears* HEY GUYS!

Everyone- WHOAA!

Angela- Where did you come from?

Wendell- *says mysteriously* I was here the whole time, Angela . MWA HAHAHAA.

*everyone stares at Wendell*

Booth- *looks up in awe* Are you Jesus??

Wendell- Yes brother, I am.

Booth- SWEET!

Sweets- WAIT! He can't be Jesus?!!!

Brennan- Why??

Sweets- Because I'M JESUS!

Hodgins- I'M GOD!

Howard- IM HOWARD!!

Michael- WALTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walt- That's me!

Cam- Ok so I guess we all found out that Sweets and Wendell are both Jesus, Hodgins is God, Walt is Walt, Howard is Howard, and Max is…. Whoever he is.

Max Keenan- MY NAME IS ED COOLIO.

Hodgins- I say it over and over again.

FOOL.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is chapter….six??? Haha so I'm superr hyper so this should be a good one! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!! You know what makes me write more and faster??? Reviews!! Thank you so much for them I lalalovee them!**

Michael- WALLTTTTTTTTTT!!!

Everyone- SHUT UP!

Sweets- *walks in room to find everyone forming a circle around Michael*

Hodgins- *yells* YOU KNOW WHAT? YOURE A FOOL!!

Sweets- What's going on here?!?!?

Brennan- We want Michael to stop screaming WALLTTTT!! Every time we have a session!!

Booth- GOD!! I love you so much!

Sweets- *walks over to Michael* Dude, you're not even a character on the show, why are you even here?? Who is Walt, and why do you keep screaming his name???

Cam- Michael? *whispers to Angela* what's wrong with him?

Michael- OH! Sorry I just had a flashback… he he.

Angela- Why would you have a flashback?

Michael- I don't know honestly, It's really weird , it's like you hear this mysterious sound and, WOOSH!

*everyone flinches*

Michael- Yeahh.. I'm just going to go… *walks out of room*

Hodgins- Fool.

Wendell- I really want to jump out of a window right now…

Clark- Ughh…

Booth- DON'T _'UGHH' _AT JESUS!!!

Angela- I have a question!!

Sweets- Ugh, yes Angela?

Angela- If Hodgins is God, then wouldn't Wendell be his son??!!!

Gravedigger- OMG! This just keeps getting juicier and juicier!!

Brennan- I'm thirsty.

Booth- Thirsty for love??? *mischievous look on face*

Brennan- Um… Juice would be fine….

*Booth frowns*

Hodgins- Well, umm, this is awkward so…..

*Hodgins jumps out of window*

Wendell- WTF!! ONLY I CAN DO THAT!!

Cam- IS HE ALIVE?!?

*Hodgins yells from outside*

Hodgins- ITS ALL GOOD!! *groans*

Angela- oh thank God!

Hodgins- What?

Angela- WHOA! Your fast!

Hodgins- You said my name so..

Booth- *sings* WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS! AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TO THE END!

Brennan- SING IT BROTHA!

Jack- LIVE TOGETHER, OR DIE ALONE!

Cam- Who are you??

Jack- I'm another lostie! *smiles*

Sweets- GET OUT!

Jack- Ok, ok jeez… cranky pants. *slowly walks out of room*

Howard- He seems nice.

Fischer- EVERYONE IS NICE WHEN THEIR DEAD!

Brennan- That's just creepy…

*random kitten pops up out of nowhere*

Fischer- OMG! KITTY KITTY KITTY!!! *Fischer spazzes out*

Caroline- That's wrong…


	7. Chapter 7

**Alrighty then so this is chapter…6? Haha anyway, I don't own anything, yada yada yada. REVIEW!!! I lalalove reviews from you!! I never really knew that this would be so liked.. Ha-ha so here it is!**

Brennan- I HAVE A NEW POEM!

Sweets- Dr. Brennan I don't think-

Brennan- There once was a boy, his name was Roy. He liked his toy. He was a boy, and he like soy. Thank you.

Wendell- That. Was. AMAZING!

Hodgins- Now, now Jesus calm down.

Fischer- I want my kitty… *cries*

*random Kitten pops up out of nowhere (again)

Fischer- KITTY!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Sweets- Ok so-

Booth- I LOVE BONES!

Sweets- Mhmm…. Ok so anyway I think that we should-

Jack- WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!

Angela- Go where?

Hodgins- WHY ARE YOU HERE!? Jesus!

Wendell- What?

Hodgins- What?

Wendell- You said my name…

Sweets- Ok, jack? Go tell you and your friends to leave us alone. Please.

Jack- Ok… *walks out of room*

Angela- HEY! He was hot!

Booth- Not as hot as me… Mwa ha ha…

Cam- Yeah right…

Booth- YOU DID NOT GO THERE!

Cam- I BELIEVE I JUST DID!

*Cam and Booth….get in another fight…. Ugh*

Brennan- Bubbles.

Daisy- OMG I LOVE BUBBLES!!

Sweets- I give up.*walks out of room*

Wendell- DON'T MAKE ME JUMP OUT OF ANOTHER WINDOW!

Clark- It wouldn't matter if you did anyway, your Jesus.

Zack- If he's Jesus, then I'm BUDDHA!

Daisy- But your not fat…

Zack- Um, my hands hurt.

Daisy- HAHA AWESOME!!

Caroline- This is weirder then a penguin in the middle of the road in Texas next to an inn.

Brennan- I don't get it…

Wendell- *jumps out window*

Hodgins- Fool.

Booth- *sings* TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR-

*Booth Faints*

Cam- Yes, I am the master!

-end-


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8!!!! OK so here is more, oh and I'm thinking about starting a new story, so if you have any ideas, tell me!! REVIEW!! I'll only write if you guys review like CRAZYY!! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, sadly… **

Cam- Where's Sweets?

Brennan- Where's Booth?

Booth- *breaks down the door* IM HERE MY LOVE!!!

Brennan- Hi….. *whispers to self* awkward…..

Angela – I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!!

Wendell- *jumps out of window*

*Sweets walks into room*

Sweets- Ok, sorry I'm late. Today is a new day!! Right??

Hodgins- RIGHT!

Sweets- Ok… So as you can see, I set up a special security system so no 'losties' can get in.

*Jack tries to walk through the door, security system electrocutes him*

Jack- Owwww….. *Jack faints*

Booth- hehehee.

Wendell- IM BACK!

Everyone- WHOA!

Angela- You HAVE to stop scaring people like that!

Wendell- Well, I can do anything so…

*Wendell jumps out of window again*

Clark- Ugh

Booth- I have something to share!

Sweets- Ugh, alright go ahead.

Booth- Well first, I love Bones. And second I used to be a vampire.

Daisy- SWEET!!

Sweets- *snickers*

Hodgins- There's no such thing as vampires, fool.

Booth- Well.. Your God. So it's pretty possible….

Brennan- These sessions make no sense, since when did I become so stupid?

Angela- You were always stupid.

Brennan- Oh… I get it now!

Fischer- Brown isn't a color, its nothing, a vast ocean of plain nothing….

Gravedigger- Dude…

Howard- Dudee…

Michael- Walt…

Sweets- WHAT?! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE??

Michael- I came in through the window…

Wendell- Nice!!

Clark- I'm going to go shave.

Angela- Hahahaa.

Brennan- I WANT DA BABYY!

Booth- Mwa hahahaa.

Vincent- Tee hee!

Jack- YOU KNOW THAT SECURITY SYSTEM FREAKIN HURTS!

Angela- Your hot.

Jack- I am pretty good looking.

Angela- Yeah you are!

Sweets- OK, ok, everyone lets just-

*Kitten pops up out of nowhere*

Fischer- KITTY KITTY KITTY!! AHHHH! YOUR SO FREAKIN CUTE AND FLUFFY!

Booth- Just like me… hehehe.

Brennan- *whispers to Cam* He scares me….

Hodgins- It's really boring here.

Wendell- IM GETTING SPONGEBOB!

*Spongebob Squarepants pops up out of nowhere*

Spongebob- HELLO EVERYONE!!! HAHAHAHA, LET HAVE SOME KRABBY PATTIES!

*spongebob hands out krabby patties*

Sweets- How is he even here?

-end-


	9. Chapter 9

**NEXT CHAPTER! YAYY! Ha-ha sorry I haven't updated in a while but I have school. And a science project, ugh. So I don't own anything, if I did the show would be exactly like this fic. Thank god it belongs to fox. So REVIEW! It gets me pumped up!! By the way, you're awesome!! Ha-ha yes I am in the nice mood right now.**

*Sweets walks into room where everyone is staring off into who knows where*

Sweets- Hello everyone!

Booth- OH MY GOD! What happened??!!

Sweets- I got a wig because I got sick of being bald…

Brennan- HE GREW A PERM!!!

Clark- BALD PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Angela- You just keep telling yourself that.

Clark- You know what? I WILL!

Hodgins- Fool, fool. FOOLS!

Wendell- So I was at the window store the other day, and I saw this beautiful winow with-

Gravedigger- No one cares…

Wendell- I DO!

*Wendell cries and jumps out of window*

Rebecca- How is he still alive after that?

Everyone- Because he's Jesus.

Rebecca- Ohh..

Cam- I'm in the punching mood today.

Booth- Just don't punch me, I'm getting sick of fainting.

Brennan- Hey Howard?

Howard Epps- Supp.

Brennan- You look like a fool.

Hodgins- HAHA yess!!!

*Hodgins gets up and high fives Brennan-*

Howard- What? Why?

Brennan- Well, your pants are on the ground.

*Everyone except Howard and Wendell burst out laughing*

Fischer- I've run out of dark things to say so I'm just going to sit here.

Clark- Ugh.

Zack- What's your problem with the word ugh?

Clark- Ugh.

Zack- You know that's really depressing.

Clark- Ugh.

Fischer- HEY! I'm the depressing one!

Zack- Not anymore…

Fischer- Ugh.

Clark- Ugh.

Michael- WALLTTTTTT!!!!!

Brennan- HI!!

Michael- HEY WHATS UP??

Brennan- NOTHING MUCH!!

Sweets- STOP YELLING!!!!!

Booth- Dudee….

Parker- A dude is a dirty hair on an elephants butt.

Booth- Whoa, seriously?

Parker- Yeah! We are learning about them at school!

Booth- Sweet!!

Caroline- This is crazier and more confusing than a penguin on top of a steamroller in the middle of the Sahara desert.

Goodman- HAHA! You look funny!

Vincent-I don't get it..

Brennan- same here..

Fischer- Is it just me or does a British accent make you sound smarter?

*Wendell breaks down door*

Wendell- HAVE NO FEAR, JESUS (or Wendell) IS HERE!

Zack- I'm still Buddha.

Brennan- If you want to be Buddha, you have to get fat.

Zack- Ok I'll go buy some Twinkies.

Hodgins- Mmmm, Twinkies…

Booth- Mmmm, pie…

Brennan- Mmmm, mysterious fish sticks…

Sweets- Ugh, why do I even try?

-end-

**Review! I really have no idea when this is going to be complete and only reviews can keep this going longer!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Alrighty so here is chapter 10! This is really starting to get fun! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! If you have any suggestions just tell me PLEASE REVIEW!**

Sweets- Hello Everyone!

Angela- Heyy!!

Everyone else- Hi…

Booth- I WANT A UNIBROW!

Brennan- SWEET!

Sweets- Ok... Um so today-

Clark- BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!

Sweets- Anyway… Today we are going to discuss our relationships, again. I know we discussed this before but it kind of got out of subject so we are doing it again.

Cam- I would like to start!

Sweets- Go ahead, Cam.

Cam- Well, I have A LOT of relationship issues. My own daughter is lying to me! WHATS WRONG WITH ME? Also, Booth keeps on getting mad at me and I don't know why-

Booth- Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you knock me out every five minutes. Just a guess…

Zack- Was he being sarcastic?

Brennan- I have no idea…

Cam- Well it's not like I have a choice!

Booth- Ugh…

Cam- You know what? I'm just going to get a hotdog…

*Cam walks out of the room, trips and falls over air while doing it*

Cam- Owww..

Booth- HAHAAHA!

Sweets- I would like to bring up some more issues about the daddy issues in this show-

Booth- OH NO! We are SO not going there.

Brennan- Well, I mean it IS kind of annoying that my dad changes his name every five minutes..

Max- My name is-

Brennan- I don't even care anymore..

Max- My name is Harry, Harry Pitts.

Hodgins- Fool.

*Booth starts to cry*

Angela- Awe, what's wrong?

Booth- My papa never loved me!

Booths dad- Ahh! Of course I did! Now stop crying and get me a fish stick.

Brennan- Ahhhh! I LOVE FISHSTICKS!

Booth- No!

Booths dad- Ugh..

Parker- Ooo this is getting interesting..

Sweets- Now Booth, tell your father about how you feel.

Booth- Well, It really hurt when you never paid any attention to me.

Booths dad- BAHH HUMBUG!

Michael- This is too sad! Im going to find my son! WALTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

Wendell- STOP, JUST STOP!

*Wendell jumps out of window again*

Sweets- Well actually, Michael, I would like to know why you keep on screaming Walts name.

Michael- It's a LONG story. It all started out with Oceanic flight 815.

Fischer- here we go… Ok we know that but it's all opver so-

Michael- NOO IT'S NOT!!

*Michael cries, Cam walks in*

Cam- MMM, that was a good hotdog!

Michael- OMG YOUR ALIVE!

Cam- Of course I'm alive!

Michael- But your dead!

Cam- No..

Michael- Oh wait, this is Bones, ha-ha on Lost you were my almost- wife..

Cam- Ok..

Sweets- Interesting..

Booth- Quite interesting…

Stewie Griffin- Yes, yes very..

Booth- ITS YOU!

Stewie- Im BACK!!

Booth- Oh your going down.

Booths dad- Shut up! I'm trying to watch Sesame Street!

Brennan- A is for apple!

Angela- Cool!

Vincent, A is also for Ant!

Rebecca- NO WAY!

Goodman- That unbelievable!

Hodgins- This is so unusual.

Fischer- SO IS YOU FACE!

Hodgins- Fool.

Michael and Cam- WALTTTTTT!

Jack- Hey heyy!

Angela- Hey!

Jack- Ok bye!

Angela- What the-

Brennan- MWA HAHAHAA.

Booth- I love you..

Brennan- I know..

Booth- Really?

Brennan- Yep.

Booth- Will you marry me?

Brennan- Lemme sleep on it.

Booth- Ok!

*Booth punches Brennan unconscious*

Booth- SHE'S SLEEPING!

-end-


	11. Chapter 11

**i'M BACK!!! So sorry it's been so long, i've been so busy!!! I'm about to get on a plane so i'm posting this right**** away! So sorry again! Ily! Review! I dont own anything.**

Sweets- Welcome back my little lovelies! How have you been?! Mighty dandy?

*silence*

Angela- Wow.

Sweets- Ok... So how was your little vacation?

Hodgins- Little!? Are you kidding me?! It's been like FOREVER since our last session. (Thank God). Oh sorry... Fool!!

Booth- She's still sleeping! *cries*

Cam- Well you probably shouldn't have hit her so hard!

Booth- SHUT UP!

Cam- MAKE ME!

Booth- Oh no she didn't...

Sweets- Ok, so... Ah! Howard, how was your break??

Howard- It was alright, I guess. I went shopping with Wendell, I had to get some new windows-

Wendell- WINDOWS!! AHHHHH!!!!

*Wendell jumps out window*

Hodgins- Nooo!!!

Sweets- I have some very good new too! i'm getting married!

Angela- OMG! To who?

Hodgins- YOUR MOM! HAHA!

*Everyone stares at Hodgins, Booth continues crying*

Hodgins- Ahem, uh, sorry...

Sweets- Um, no, actually it's Daisy...

Daisy- AHHHHHHHH!!! HAHA! I LALALOVE YOU LANCELOT!

Booth- Why isn't she awake!!!???

Cam- Because your a creep!

Clark- Ugh.

Fischer- Dude...seriously...darkness...black....depressing things...blah...

Booth- I'm scared...

Vincent- Is it just me or does anyone want pie?

Michael- WALTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yeah pie sounds good.

Cam- Let's hit it!

*Everyone leaves incliding Brennan being dragged by Booth, Sweets gets locked in his office.*

Hodgins- Mwaa hahaha

Sweets- *screams out of door* THAT'S NOT FUNNY

-end-


	12. Chapter 12

Here's more! I don't own anything! Review!

Sweets arrives to find everyone sitting in the room in their own little conversations…(Brennan still unconscious)… Cam is giving Booth a random death glare, Booth looks scared. Also the Gravedigger and Hodgins are having a staring contest; however Hodgins is using his 'godly' powers to not blink (cheater). And Wendell is explaining the art of jumping out of windows to Angela and Goodman…

Sweets- Hello everyone…

Everyone- Hey!

Booth- I…I don't get it! HOW IS SHE STILL SLEEPING?!

Sweets- Probably because you punched her so hard.

Booth- Well…Well BUT STILL!

We now move on to Wendell and his group…

Wendell- Now you can jump out of windows in three different ways: the dive, the cannonball, or my personal favorite, the ROCK ON jump!

Angela and Goodman- …cool…

**Meanwhile…**

Michael- OH-MY-GAWD! Cam wtf are you doing?!?

Cam- I'm eating a cheese stick…duh.

Michael- NO! YOUR SUPPOSED TO PULL OFF LITTLE STRIPS AND EAT IT!

Cam- So?...

Michael- Your just going at it!

Cam- DEAL WITH IT!

Michael- WALT!!

Cam- Gah…that's cheesy…

(No pun intended)

Gordon Wyatt suddenly breaks down the door with his feet…I have no idea why…people stare.

Gordon- Why hello my little lovelies! What a mighty exquisite day we have here in the beautiful Washington area! It makes the birds chirp and the angels sing in mighty-

Hodgins- SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF YOUR WHATEVER HE HECK IT IS THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! NO ONE CARES ABOUT-

Gordon- Yelling is never the answer my little bug-loving, angry, weird-looking friend!

Hodgins- Pshh, fool.

* * *

Booth is now seen shaking Brennan violently to wake up, he's still crying whatsoever, and Cam walks up with a sack full of oranges and smacks him with it. Booth faints…again.

Cam- HAHA YES!

Sweets- *staring at Cam* That's unnatural and disturbing in so many ways.

Fischer- YOUR MOM!

Gravedigger laughs and gives Fischer a high-five.

Clark- Ugh…

* * *

**What will happen next?!**

**Will the kitty return?**

**Will Brennan wake up?**

**Will cam ever stop smacking booth????**

**WILL WENDELL FINALLY STOP JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS?!**

**It's all coming up soon!!**

**If you review all your questions will be answered! Sooner..that is.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13! Ok so I am really bored an I'm waiting for my rents to come back so we can go to a family thingy, also…THE LOST SERIES FINALE IS TONIGHT! THE END IS COMING! AHHHHH! Also, I cried really hard at the end of the Bones season finale. BOOTH WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU LEAVES HER! Why would you let her leave! Get together already! JEEZ!**

**I don't own anything**

Sweets enters the room with a frown plastered on his face. He finds everyone sitting doing the normal thing. Booth is crying because Brennan is still 'sleeping'. Cam soon punches Booth and he faints, again. She screams "OWNED!" and sits down quietly. Fischer is painting his nails black, and the Gravedigger is sulking.

Sweets- Hello…everyone.

Angela- HEY HEY!

Hodgins- BOW DOWN TO ME!

Sweets- Alrighty then let's get to it, crew!

*Booth wakes up.*

Booth- TEMPERANCE…MY SWEET TEMPERANCE! WAKE UP! AHHHHHHH!

*Booth faints. Again.*

Sweets- Well. That was overly dramatic. Anyway, I would like to address some issues with the romance on this show…

Wendell- I'm bursting with excitement. Not.

Sweets- Alright, how about we start with you Wendell? How do you feel about you and Angela breaking up?

Wendell- Dude, don't go there.

Clark- I think he just did, man.

*Everyone stares at Clark with shock. Clark realized he forgot to say something.*

Clark- OH SORRY. Ugh…. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh UGH

Wendell- Anyway! It feels pretty bad! Kind of like how it felt to have the windows barred up.

*Wendell glares at Sweets.*

Cam- Um, Wendell? You're Jesus, so you can't like, UN-bar them…?

Wendell- I know, I know, but still. If it is barred up it kind of takes away a little piece of my heart, Y'know? It's like people want me to stop jumping out of them! I-I just can't do it!

Hodgins- Fool.

*Brennan wakes up with a jolt.*

Brennan- WHOA! That was awesome!

Angela- What the heck Bren! You've been unconscious for like, forever!

Brennan- I wasn't unconscious! Whatever that means….I was in Pandora! I was an Avatar person and I met a bunch of blue people and I-

Sweets- Okay…Good to have you back Dr. Brennan.

Brennan- OW!

Everyone- WHAT!

Brennan- I bit myself again!

Cam- Ah, same old Brennan.

Fischer- OKAY! It's good to have this little get together party, but I think we really need some awesomeness here.

*Fischer takes out a magic wand and says random gibberish words and POOF! There's a random dancing Kitty. THE KITTY RETURNS!*

Gravedigger and Fischer- KITTY! AHHHHHH!

Gravedigger- YOU'RE SO CUTE AND ADORABLE AND YOU REMIND ME OF BUBBLES! I JUST WANNA HUG YOU ALL DAY!

Fischer- KITTY KITTY!

Hodgins- Fool.

Cam- This is really awkward.

Michael- WALTTTTTTT! AHHHH!

*Michael suddenly stops screaming and has a dazed look on his face.*

Sweets- Uh. You guys? What's wrong with Michael?

Brennan- I KNOW! He's having a flashback! Or a flash-forward, or possibly a flash sideways! HAHA!

Angela- O-Kay?

Goodman- That's completely normal.

Fischer- YOUR FACE!

Cam- Owned!

*Wendell jumps out of window*

Zack- Wow…usually he warns us before he jumps. Weird…

Fischer- YOUR FACE!

Cam- OWNED!

Rebecca- HAHA

*Zack starts to cry*

Sweets- Here we go…

*Booth wakes up and looks at Brennan*

TBC!

**AHH! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is the last chapter of Bones Therapy Session! I don't own anything!**

_Previously On Bones Therapy Session…(insert dramatic sound)_

_*Wendell jumps out of window*_

_Zack- Wow…usually he warns us before he jumps. Weird…_

_Fischer- YOUR FACE!_

_Cam- OWNED!_

_Rebecca- HAHA_

_*Zack starts to cry*_

_Sweets- Here we go…_

_*Booth wakes up and looks at Brennan*_

Booth- B-Bones!

Brennan- Booth…?

Booth- AHHHHHH!

*Booth gets over excited and jumps on Brennan, making her fall over.*

Booth- I MISSED YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH! LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE LITTLE BABY BONES' AND BOOTHS AND THEY'RE—

Sweets- Okay! Wow this is…touching?

Booth- BONESSS! IS IT YES! PUH-LEASEE SAY YES! YES YES YES YES!

Brennan- No.

*Booth starts to cry*

Booth- W—What!

Brennan- Ha-ha Just kidding! LOL

Booth- Okay… OMG I'M SO FRIGGIN EXCITED! 2. That's not funny. And 3. I LA-LA-LOVEEE YOU!

Brennan- Mhm, okay, whatever.

Sweets- Okay, I finally lost my train of thought…

Angela- Wait…trains of thought. So there's a train…with thoughts on it? So does that make the train a brain! Jeez what's up with all this tech crap these days! And you said you lost it so…that makes it portable…or really small. So that would make a really small train…or brain. Ugh my brain hurts. Or my train hurts…or my brain train hurts…what?

Zack- I lost you after 'so there's a train' …so…

Cam- Oh…what! Sorry I wasn't listening; I was too busy trying to figure out how awkward it must be that my adoptive daughter is going to my boyfriend who is actually a gynecologist-

Hodgins- WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! TOO MUCH INFO! Fool.

Fisher- Life is short…death is long. Deathhhhh….

*Fischer gets a blank look on his face and begins to drool*

Vincent- Terrific…

Daisy- IT'S CHEETAHLICIOUS!

*everyone stares at Daisy*

Daisy- Ha-ha?

Booth- I'M GETTING MARRIED SUCKAS!

Hodgins- WELL LA-DE-FRICKIN-DA! Fool.

Booth- I hate you…

Sweets- Wow, um. I really have nothing to say at this point.

Clark- Ugh.

Cam- Ahh. Same old Clark.

Zack- My hands still hurt.

Parker- I'm so adorable!

*Parker smiles. AWW PARKER CUTENESS!*

Angela- AW! I JUST WANNA EAT YOU UP!

Parker- Psh…who doesn't.

Gormagon- Me! That's disgusting, man.

Zack- *gasps* WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!

Gormagon- Well…I was on the show after all. Hello, this is Bones Therapy Session!

Zack- Okay…But your…dead.

Fischer- DEATH!

Gormagon- I know. You got a problem with that, punk!

*Zack sits back in his chair*

Zack- No…

Gormagon- I thought so.

Wendell- Windows! AHHH!

*Wendell (obviously) jumps out a window*

Brennan- Superb…

Epps- YOUR FACE!

Cam- OWNED!

Sweets- That's socially incorrect.

Epps- YOU FACE IS SOCIALLY INCORRECT!

Cam- OWNAGE!

Angela- BOO-YAH!

Michael- WALTTTTT!

Sweets- Wth, man.

Michael- I didn't say anything yet and I felt left out so…why not?

Sweets- You annoy me.

Michael- CRASHING ON A MYSTERIOUS ISLAND WITH SMOKE MONSTERS AND TIME TRAVEL ANNOYS ME! CAN I DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT? NO!

Sweets- Whatever.

Epps- YOUR FACE!

Brennan- SHUT UP YOUR SO ANNOYING!

Michael- YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'S ANNOYING?

Epps- YOUR FACE!

Sweets- SHUT UP!

*Everyone goes quiet*

Sweets- That's more like it! We have GOT to start getting along! And that means you Cam and Booth.

*Sweets glares at Cam and Booth*

Cam and Booth- Wha-what!

Sweets- If we can't live together…we're going to die alone.

Jack (Lost) - HEY! That's my line man! You can't just go around taking lines from other shows. Seriously…not cool…

Sweets- How'd you get in here?

Jack- I'm magical…

Angela- And hot.

Jack- Yes, that too.

Booth- NOT AS HOT AS ME SUCKAS!

Hodgins- Fool.

Sweets- Okay our time is—

Michael- WALTTTTTTT!

Sweets- Yes, okay. Our time is finally coming to a close and it was truly a long ride working with you guys. But…we're done now. We did have a lot of improvement, though!

Caroline- Not.

Sweets- But I would like to thank you again! I can't believe I'm saying this…but I love you guys…

Everyone except Hodgins- AWWWW WE LOVE YOU TOO!

Hodgins- Gross.

Epps- YOUR FACE!

Cam- OWNED!

And so the time comes when everyone leaves. The Gravedigger, Epps, Gormogon, and whoever else that is a bad guy (or girl) on the show goes back to their little, lonely place in the corner. Booth and Brennan travel to the Malpoopoo Islands and elope, oh, and they also have little baby Booths and Brennans! Sweets and Daisy go about their usual, bubbly selves while Cam, Angela, and Hodgins return to the lab to have a mega huge pillow fight. (I don't know) Everyone else who I have missed (except Parker cause he's a cutie pie!) went to Loner Land where they continued to be loners. (Sorry)

And they lived happily ever after!

Epps- YOUR FACEE!

I would like to thank everyone who read this and reviewed! This really means a lot to me and I promise a sequel is coming! Honestly, this started out as a random, I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing fic. But With all of your support this turned into something great! Thanks again!

The sequel is on the way!

(trust me, the end is nowhere near)


	15. Chapter 15

_**Okay so I decided I want to continue THIS fic! so I will. I don't own anything! Enjoy!**_

_Chapter One_

_Season Finale and The Situation_

_Sweets walks into his office to find the crew sitting in a circle...on plush and fuzzy chairs. (Because their awesome...duh) He sighs and sits down in his own chair._

Sweets- Welcome back guys. You're all probably wondering why you're here; turns out the author wanted to _CONTINUE_—

*Sweets looks out of the computer screen to glare at me*

Me- LOL! Fool...

Sweets- *sighs*so we'll just have to go through with this ALL OVER AGAIN...

Hodgins- Well what's so dreadful about that, sugar muffin? I can't wait to get started!

*in a really scary, loud, manly voice* LET'S DO THIS THING!

Sweets- Since when did you get so...pleasant...?

Hodgins- Since the clouds rained chocolate and gumdrops...duhh...*silence* JK I LOVE YOUUUU!

Sweets- ...I'll take that... Okay! So who enjoyed the season finale? Personally, I was pleased at the ending. I think it will open up new doors for—

Angela- HOW CAN YOU FRICKIN SAY THAT!...well...actually I agree with you.

*everyone stares at Angela*

Angela- *clears throat* Uh...go on.

Sweets- Yeahh. Anyway, I think it will open up new doors for everyone when we all get back together in D.C. once again-

Booth- I was sent to a war-zone.

Sweets- Yeah...I know. Your point?

Booth- I was sent to a _war-zone. Hello? _And you're...happy? Wow! To think that I was actually starting to _like_ you. Hmmm... You know I might not even come back! Who knows, I might get killed in some freak accident! I could be like one of those guys on Final Destination! UGH, you are SO ignorant sometimes.

*Booth pouts and crosses his arms*

Cam- There was one part that made no sense whatsoever to me, though.

Vincent- Of course it didn't, silly! You're IQ is about 75!

*Vincent grins at his 'burn', Cam glares at him, a sudden look of fear appears on his face and he sinks back into his chair*

Cam- _Anyway,_ I didn't get the last scene between Booth and Dr. Brennan. I mean, they're talking and dreamily looking into each other's eyes, he takes a step closer to her, and right when you think they're about to kiss, HE FRICKIN TAKES HER HAND! _HER HAND! DANG IT, HART HANSON! ...YOU AND YOU'RE EVIL WAYS!_

_Hart Hanson-_ HAHAA.

Clark- Say whaaaaaat?

Booth- You're seriously confused _by that?_...That's _bloody_ messed up man!

Fischer- Oh, so you're British now?...

Cam- *ignoring Fischer* Well...pshh. I'm sorry that I'm a_ little angry _because I got all my hopes up for nothi—

Brennan- IMMAAA BADASSSSSSSSS! Wugga wugga WOOT WOOTTT!

*silence*

Booth- Bones, not now.

Brennan- *quietly* Kay... *sinks into chair*...beeottchess...

Sweets- Well, Cam. I think he didn't take that chance because he didn't want to risk getting hurt again...look at the 100th episode for example—

Hodgins- Let's talk about ME and how I frickin _stole a car_! YEAHHHHH BUDDYYYY! *high fives Angela's dad*

Angela's Dad- ROCCKKKKK ONNN! *does an air guitar move*

Angela - You stole...a car...

Booth- BASTARD! *whips out his gun and goes trigger happy*

Fischer- *whispers to Gravedigger* Well, at least he didn't turn into Angelus. *Gravedigger nods*

Michael- *ignoring Booth* WALLLLTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Walt- STOP SCREAMING MY NAME! JEEZ IM RIGHT FRICKIN NEXT TO YOU! God! You're so embarrassing!

Sweets- Oooooo, more daddy issues...*grins*

Zack- All of you guys are...num-nuts. HA-HA! I just owned _ALL_ of you! *opens window and screams out of it* Take THAT society!

Angela- Wow...Zack actually insulting us. _What a character breakthrough!_

*Everyone stares at Angela*

Angela- I was...sarcastic on the last part.

Brennan- Ohhhhh!...*pauses* ...wait.

Booth- *finally ending his outburst* Hey guys, what's that?

*points over to a bomb laying on Gormogon's lap*

Gormogon- It's a bomb. Duh.

Cam- Why do you have a bomb?...

Gormogon- Cause the author gave me one. I thought you would know that by now.

*Wendell raises his fist in the air*

Wendell- DARNNNNN YOUUUUUU!

*Wendell jumps out window*

Howard Epps- PLEASE, EVERYONE CALM DOWN!

*Everyone glances over at Howard and turns back to Sweets*

Howard- I CAN FIX THIS!

*Howard takes the bomb into his lap*

-cue the music—

Set to the tune of MacGyver, or MacGruber...your choice, really.

MC-HOWARD!

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT HE'S ALIVE RIGHT NO-WW

MC-HOWARD!

HE REALLY CREEPS ME OUT AND I CAN'T THINK OF BETTER LYRICS!

MC-HOWARD!

I CAN'T THINK OF GOOD LYRICS SO I'M JUST RANDOMLY TYPING-

MC-HOW-ARD!

*cut the music*

Sweets- OMG. That was probably...the worst...song I have ever heard in my life.

Me- HEY! I tried, okay? *cries*

*back to Howard*

Howard- Booth, hand me that paperclip.

Booth- YOU GOT IT MC-HOWARD!

*hands him a paperclip enthusiastically*

Howard- Daisy, hand me that sushi roll.

Daisy- OKAY, MC-HOWARD!

*Hands him the sushi roll, Howard devours it*

Howard- Mmmm, sushi...

Angela- 23 SECONDS, HOWARD!

Howard- Sorry, I was hungry. Okay I just pull these two wires and...

-BOOM!-

Howard- I guess I...can't defuse a bomb. hehe. Well, I tried. That counts, right? Right! RIGHTTTTTTT?

Angela- DANG IT HOWARD! You messed up my new shirt!

Sweets- Right now is about the time where I ask, 'Why aren't we dead?', but...knowing what happens here, I decided against it.

Brennan- Smart choice. NOT!...you're a stupid man. A dumb, stupid, gross man.

*Booth chuckles at Brennan's attempt at being mean*

Sweets- That's sassy...that was just sassy...Ms. Sassy Pants...no need for any sassiness here...

Michael- *ignoring Sweets* WAAAAAAAALLTTTT! MA' BOY! WHERE'S MA' BOY?

Walt- omfg. *-facepalm-*

Cam- WATCH YO' LANGUAGE, BOY!

Hodgins- Fooool... *drools*

Max- Y'know, I have a topic to bring up!

Sweets- Ugh, fine, go ahead...

Max- Why does Booth always trample me to the ground whenever I'm going somewhere? It's like i'm walking to the store...and he just jumps on top of me! It sucks! Why me!

Booth- Because you're usually about to do something bad, plus I like to beat people up...*giggles*

Max- Well...you know what? You're just... jealous! Yeah, that's right.

*Booth chuckles*

Booth-Of your constant need of having to change your name every five minutes? Seriously, jealous of what. I wanna know.

*Max lifts up his shirt*

Max- My situation...my sitchuatioonnnn...

Temperance- DA-ADD! Ugh. You've been watching too much Jersey Shore lately.

Sweets- That is _so_ disgusting.

Hodgins- *in a really girly voice* Not to mention...really gross.

Sweets- OH-KAY!

-end-

**revieww**!

**Was it bad? I have a feeling that it's bad.. please tell me what you think! Pleasee no mean comments. **


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter Sixteen_

_Taking Over The Universe and Helicopters_

_Lance Sweets arrives in his office to find everyone doing what they usually do. Brennan is blabbering on and on about how much of a badass she is, Fischer is sulking, Cam is manhandling Booth, Hodgins is bragging about him being 'God', Angela's eyes are glued to the latest 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' comic book issue, and everyone else I didn't mention are loners ( and always will be). Except for Wendell, Zack, and Parker._

_AWWW PARKER CUTENESS!_

Parker- TEE-HEE!

Me- AHH YOU'RE SO FRIGGIN' CUTE!

Sweets- Ahem. Okay! How are we all doing today! Dandy? Exquisite? Completely and totally awesome? Mind-boggingly happy? Positively—

Clark- UGH. We're fine. Well, everyone except ME.

Sweets- ...Why...

Clark- Ugh...you're SO arrogant. *scoffs and crosses arms*

Sweets- I don't like your attitude. You know, you have a very boring personality. Maybe because of some...childhood trauma? *wiggles eyebrows* Eh?

Clark- You know, sometimes I just think that you're an idiot.

Sweets- _Oooooooo-kay? _That makes NO sense.

Clark- My point exactly.

*silence*

Hodgins- Okay I really don't like awkward pauses so...Who wants to talk about me and how I'm totally awesome? Did I mention that I'm God? ...Okay well, just in case...I'M GOD!

Sweets- (face palm) Oky-dokey, let's move on then, yes? Fantastic! Okayyyy, so...*scopes room* Ugh. I got nothing. Why did I even become a psychologist? I mean. I think my TRUE calling is as an—

*a really loud whooshing noise fills the ears of everyone in the room. Everyone spazzes out except for Brennan*

Brennan- LETS GET KICKIN' BEOTTCHESSSSS!

*Brennan runs over to the window and jumps out into the helicopter waiting for her. The helicopter speedily disappears into the sky...Booth runs over to the window and sticks his head out.*

Booth- *in a really dramatic way* BONNNEESSSSS!

Michael- WAAAALTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Wendell- *ignoring Booth and Michael*did she serious just jump out that window? DID SHE JUST JUMP OUT THAT WINDOW? THAT'S **MY** THING. MINE. All mine. Ugh she is SO going to court for this.

Hodgins- *Ignoring everthing that just happened* Fool...ha-ha! I haven't said that in a while!

Wendell- *shakes his fist in the air (again)* DARNNNNNNN YOUUUUUUUUUU!

*Wendell jumps out of window*

Zack- Wait, if Wendell is still Jesus, and if Hodgins is still God...am I still Buddha? CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE BUDDHA—

Clark- NOOO I WANNA BE BUDDHA!

Zack- Pshh...Yeah, like you have what it takes—

*Out of nowhere, Clark gains a large amount of weight and flies out the door.*

Zack- Holy Shizzle...

Howard Epps- I SMELL A SITCOM!

*silence*

Howard- I smell...law suits?

*Wendell floats into the room*

Wendell- I'M BACCCCKKKKK!

Hodgins- *squeals in an Angela-like way* YAY! Now we can finally finish our universe domination plans!

Wendell- YAYNESS!

*Hodgins pulls out a random blueprint thingy and they start planning whatever the heck they're doing*

Zack- That's extremely weird.

Michael- Your face is extremely weird.

Zack- Your mom is extremely weird.

Michael- Are you...challenging me?

Zack- Maybe I am...

*long pause*

Michael- *screams and points finger at Zack* I CHALLENGE YOU TO A STARING CONTEST!

Zack- You're on!

*They start staring at each other. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, eventually...*

Michael- WALLTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

*Zack flinches (including a blink...duh.)*

Zack- DANG IT, MICHAEL! YOU MADE ME LOSE!

Michael- Heh heh.

Zack- Why you little—

*Zack starts to strangle Michael*

_Let's see what Hodgins and Wendell are up to!_

Wendell- Okay, so far we have...hedgehogs, lollipops, trombones, 42 copies of the first season of Mad Men...ugh what else do we need!

Hodgins- Ummm...I GOT IT! We need a PINK ALASKAN BULL WORM!

Wendell- GENIUS!

Hodgins- I know right? Nothing says, 'We control the universe', like a PINK ALASKAN BULL WORM!

_Annnnnndddddd moving on! Let's see what's happening with Booth!_

Booth- BOOONEEEESSSSSSSSS!

Cam- I don't get how someone could yell out of a window for that long.

Sweets- Yeah, it is getting kind of annoying... Should I get Angelus?

Cam- YES, PLEASE!

*Sweets takes out a flute and plays a deafening note. Seconds later, Angelus breaks down the door and runs over to Sweets*

Angelus- This _better_ be important.

Sweets- Oh...um...okay. Yeah, um, Booth is kind of—

Angelus- GET TO THE POINT!

Sweets- We need you to calm Booth down...

Angelus- You know I'm evil right?

Sweets- Yeah...sure...

Angelus-*in a happy tone* Alright! Just making sure!

*Angelus skips over to Booth*

Booth- BOOOOONNNNEEEEEESS-

Angelus- HEY, YOU!

*Booth turns around to find Angelus standing in his face.*

Booth- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*Booth runs around in circles with his hands waving in the air. Angelus trips him and laughs his butt off, Booth recovers from his fall and turns to Angelus*

Booth- Who—Who are you?

Angelus- I'm _you_ from a previous show.

Booth- Well that explains why you look exactly like me.

Angelus- Well, DUH!

Booth- You don't have to be snippy with me...Mr. Snippy pants...with all your snippiness.

Angelus- You're complaining about me being snippy? I'M EVIL.

*The bickering continues which eventually turns into a fist fight*

Cam- GOOOOOO ANGELUS!

_Back to Hodgins and Wendell!_

Hodgins- PINEAPPLES! WE NEED PINEAPPLES!

Wendell- EVEN MORE YAYNESS!

Hodgins- Not just any pineapples...we need FUZZY PINEAPPLES.

Wendell-Maybe the PINK ALASKAN BULL WORM can eat the pineapples! Then it can get even BIGGER and turn into a MEGA SUPER DUPER HUGE KICK-ASS PINK ALASKAN BULL WORM!

Hodgins- The universe is SO ours.

_If you are wondering about Brennan, she is currently pick-pocketing people in Wisconsin. And yes, she will get arrested. But don't worry! She'll eventually escape because she's a BADASS! Now, Angela? Yes, let's go over to Angela. Hi Angela!_

Angela- HOLLAAA!

Fischer- There is a deep abyss within my heart. It is so painful that it makes me want to rip my head off. Because death is so long and deathly. It reminds me of the color black. Black is a dark color—

Sweets- SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! You seriously need help! And I don't mean my kind of help. I mean some PROFFESIONAL help. GOD, you're SO creepy. You creeper...

Fischer- You just made me even more depressed.

*Fischer walks over to the wall and sits down in the 'depressed corner'.*

Fischer-*whispers* Life...Death...blackness...hunger...food...snacks...yummy...Twinkies...carbs...fatness...Buddha...Clark...Edison...Thomas Edison...electricity...television...Keeping Up With the Kardashians...

Sweets- I've seen people with problems before...but he just has plain ISSUES.

-end-...for now*evil laughter*

_**Okay so that is the sixteenth chapter! YAYNESS!**_

_**Reviews are love and awesomeness. **_


	17. Chapter 17

**As always I don't own anything. (dang) Review so I can continue! I wouldalso like to thank the lovely and amazing Ashley286! She helps me and gives me soo many hilarious ideas! Thanks Ashley! You can check out her story, 'Booth's girlfriend demolition plan!'. It's super funny and amusing!**

_Chapter Seventeen_

_Kidnapping and Boats_

_Ah, yes, another dandy day at Bones Therapy Session. Cam has Booth in a headlock, Hodgins and Wendell are trying to tame their PINK ALASKAN BULL WORM, and Brennan is being a complete failure at being badass. But hey, she's still a badass!_

Sweets- Heyy-loo my little lovelies. Yes, I am in a _good_ mood because...I don't know why I'm in a good mood...Anyway! I have no idea what to do today because my brain is totally fried because of the last chapter. So...you may converse freely. YAY!

*Silence*

Brennan- Who wants to hear my new badass line! Ah, who cares I'll say it anyway. Cause I'm a BADASSS! Okay here it goes...*in a really low, scary tone of voice* Hasta la vista, baby. *back to normal voice* YIPPEE!

Angela- Wow, Bren. I didn't actually think that you would see that movie...but that's just—

Brennan- What movie?

Angela- You know, the—you know what? Never mind.

The Situation- HEY THE SITUATION IS HERE BEOTCHESS! That's right, did you here? I'm going to probably be on your show. That's right. And you will ALL be jealous over my *rips off shirt* SITUATIONNNNNNN! HA-HA!

Hodgins- You're kidding me right?

Hart Hanson- Nopety-nope-nope.

Hodgins- Dang.

Wendell- *raises fist in the air (even again)* DARRRNNNNNN YOUUUUUU!

*Wendell jumps out window*

Sweets- Can we _please_ change the subject. If anything that involves Jersey Shore pops up again today I will let Brennan rip my head off.

Brennan- *fist pump* SCORE!

Max- I have something to talk about!

Sweets- Okay, what?

Max- My new name!

*Everyone sighs in annoyance*

Max- Okay so I was in bed last night reading the last Twilight book. Which is COMPLETELY AMAZING, by the way! YAY TEAM JACOB! Ahem, anyway I fell asleep and had a dream. It was about empty peanut butter jars and squirrel babies—

Michael- WALLLLTTTTTTTT!

Max- Anyway! I had a dream about those utterly bodacious things when... I heard the most _bestest _name of all...ANGELA MONTENEGRO!

Angela- WHAT! You're not serious! You hear my name in a dream? That's exactly how—hey...are you mocking me about how I got my name? Because that's just cold...I HATE YOU!

Max- Oh, you hate me? What am I, your dad!

Angela- I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!

Booth- I have a very odd feeling of déjà vu...

Brennan- I know right. It's like I heard this somewhere, maybe it was from the hundredth episode of a certain TV show...if I could just remember the name...oh, almost forgot, IMMA BADASSSSSSSS! WUGGA WUGGA!

Booth- *face palm*

Zack- Does anyone have any Advil? My hands hurt like a MO-FO. Whatever that means. I think it means Mother ship Flounder...But why would there be a mother ship for a fish...why does the fish _have_ to be a flounder? I don't even like fish—

Clark- YOU ARE SO OUT OF WHACK! Get realzz, brotha. Cause I'm just keepin it real like a true gangsta. CAUSE DIS IS HOW WE DOESS IT IN DA HOOD. You know what I'm sayinn?

*An extremely long pause full of shock and disappointment*

Booth- If you _ever_ try to be gangster ever again, I will shoot you. More than once.

*More silence*

Clark- Kay.

Sully- *pops up out of nowhere* I'm on a boat!  
I'm on a boat!  
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat!  
I'm on a boat!  
I'm on a boat!  
Take a good hard look at the MO-FOing boat!

I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shitzu!  
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet!  
But this ain't SeaWorld, this is real as it gets!  
I'm on a boat, Mo-fo, don't you ever forget!

Zack- AHH THERE IT IS AGAIN! What does a MOTHER SHIP FLOUNDER have to do with ANYTHING? God, the CONFUSION! And since when could he RIDE A FRICKIN DOLPHIN! Why is he singing about being on a boat? MY HANDS, THEY BURN! My fingers feel like sausages! I'M SOOOOO HUNGRY!

Sweets- Okay. I think we all know now that Zack totally transformed into a complete idiot.

Zack- BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M STILL LOVED!

Hodgins- Fool...Hehehe never gets old...

Cam-*turns over to Booth*Hey Booth...Are you hungry?*pause* FOR A KNUCKLE-SANDWICH?

Booth- DEAR, GOD, NO!

*Cam starts chasing Booth around with her fist in the air. Booth starts blubbering like a little girl while he runs around the couch continuously*

Brennan- THAT'S _MY _MAN! Go get her babe!

Booth- *still crying and running around* AHHHHHHH!

Brennan- I'll help you, sweet-cheeks!

*Brennan takes out a (insert large weapon of your choice here) and starts shooting at Cam. She eventually shoots her and Cam dies. YAYNESS!*

Both- YAY BONES! My hero!

*A sweet Booth and Brennan moment* Awe!

Jacob- I'M HERE! Who died?

Sweets- Who are _you?_

Jacob- I'm Jacob. FROM LOST! Duh. I'M HERE CAUSE SOMEONE DIED AND I'M GOING TO DO SOME FREAKY-DEAKY DUTCH STUFF AND BRING 'EM BACK TO LIFE! Yay me!

Sweets- Ohh-kay?

Angela- TEAM JACOOB! HOO-ZAH!

Sweets- Ahem, anyway, we don't like Cam. So, you can just leave her—

Jacob- NO! She still has a destiny to fulfill! Plus I came _all the way_ from THE FRICKIN ISLAND! Cut me some slack. WHATEVER HAPPENED HAPPENED!

Sweets- -yet ANOTHER face palm—

*Jacob runs over to dead Cam and says some Freaky-Deaky Dutch stuff ...she rises from the dead...like a zombie...HA! Jacob disappears into thin air and Fischer faints.*

Angela-JACOBBBBBBB!

Michael- WALLLLLTTTTTTT!

Walt- AHHHHHH!

*Walt goes crazy and finally kidnaps Michael.*

Sweets- Well, THANK GOD, _that_ happened.

Hodgins- STOP FRICKING USING MY NAME IN VAIN!

Wendell- WATCH YOUR FRICKIN LANGUAGE!

Hodgins- NO _YOU_ WATCH YOUR FRICKIN LANGUAGE!—

Brennan- STOP YELLING OTHERWISE I'LL STUFF BOTH OF YOUR HEADS IN A CANDY BOWL!

Booth- A...candy bowl? Wtf?

Brennan- It's the first thing I thought of. It was either _that_ or your face. But 'you face' wouldn't make any sense so...

Sweets- WOW! That was probably the _first_ time Brennan did something _smart_! A CHARACTER ACTUALLY HAD A _REAL_ BREAKTHROUGH!

Brennan- Chill out otherwise I'll stuff _your_ head in your face! *pause* Wait...

Gravedigger- Andddddd, we're back to Brennan the badass.

Howard Epps- Okay so I was at the mall the other day, looking for some decapitation tools, when I became hungry! So I went over to the food court! I had a craving for a cinnabon but guess what? I'm allergic to cinnamon! So I asked if they had a Cinnabon without any cinnamon. They didn't have it. So I went home and cried. Oh, but first I decapitated the guys head off first!

Angela- Cool...

Sweets- I think now is a good time to end the chapter.

Sully- I concur.

Booth- SHUT UP NO ONE LIKES YOU!

-END-

**Love?**

**Hate?**

**Review so I know if you want me to keep continuing!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Wow! I haven't done a chappie in a while! Hmmm...ANYWAY! Here it is. Oh...I'll love you forever if you tell me whatcha think...pretty please? **

**I obviously don't own anything. If I did you'd be worshipping me. lol.**

**..**

Chapter...Eighteen? Wow...really? Jeez.

Just Another Epically Non-Depressing Chapter

_Hey guess what? IT'S A RAINY DAY! Yeah, that's right. And everyone is...HAPPY? Well, except for Hodgins...and Fischer...obviously. Brennan is listening intently on a tape labeled...'How to Be a Better Badass'...THE POWER WITHIN!...Ahem, Booth is ogling her. (What's new?) Angela is picking out baby names...she is currently stuck in between Olaf and Burglinda. Yes...I know...ON WE GO!_

Sweets- Hello my depressing patients! How are we today?

Angela- Pregnant.

Hodgins- *cries in happiness*

Sweets- That's very...nice. Ahem, so I'm guessing I can't use the 'You may converse freely because my brain is still fried' excuse...So, um...

*Long silence*

Sweets- Wow, I have absolutely no idea what to do...Okay why don't we just do something the _readers, which we absolutely have no idea about because we aren't on some random crackfic on Fanfiction, _will enjoy! Eh?

Clark- YAYYYYY! Ahem...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wendell- Hahahahahhahahahahahhahaha...that was weird...AND RANDOM! What kind of world is this! WHAT!

*Obviously jumps out of window...what else*

Sweets- I totally saw that coming...Alright everybody listen up! we are going to go around in a circle and tell our deepest...darkest secrets...OHHHHHH-

*cue dramatic music*

Sweets- OHHHHHHH..! Okay! Angela, you start.

Angela- Hmmm...my deepest and darkest secret...Oh! I secretly drink hot sauce when no one's looking? Is that good?

Sweets- That was hopeless.

Hannah Burley- JUST LIKE YOUR FACE! Mwa hahahahaa...

Brennan- WHAT? Why are you here? I HATE YOU!

Sweets- Ugh...she's here so we can take out all our anger on her. It really helps with all the built-up rage...Y'know?

Brennan- So I can go all Greek Mafia Badass on her?

Sweets- Uh...sure?

Brennan- Sweetness...But before I beat her into next week-

Booth- SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS? *faints*

Brennan- I need a pep talk..

Hodgins- A pep talk? I'LL GIVE YOU A PEP TALK!

Everyone-...*silenced and confused*...

Hodgins- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO? YOU'RE GONNA BEAT HER BUTT UNTIL SHE DIES! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THAT WOMAN MORE DEPRESSED THAN FISCHER...YOU HEAR ME? GO AND DO WHAT ALL THE FANS HAVE BEEN WISHING YOU TO DO FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. GO GO GO GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOO!

Brennan- Why would I do that? I was just thinking about planning something un-necessarily long and complicated-

Hodgins- NO!

Brennan- Ohh-kay?

Hodgins- And that is all I have to say...you're welcome.

Cam- That was super duper wierd with peanut butter on top.

Vincent- ditto.

Michael- I HAD A DOG NAMED VINCENT! BUT THE ISLAND TOOK HIM! Ahhhhhh! Waalllllltttttttt! *Breaths heavily*

Angela- I've decided on a name!...BURGOLAF! It's mix between Olaf and Burglinda! Isn't it a puuuurttttty name?

Hodgins- *tearing up* It's...it's beautiful!

Booth- *waking up* HEY! I'm conscious!

*Cam knocks him on the head with a pan, causing him to fall unconscious and do some serious brain damage..But c'mon! It's Booth! When has he _not_ had brain damage?*

Sweets- And the pan hitting starts again...

Brennan- Um...you guys? This has been fun and all...but I'm going to go home and fart in a shoebox...so...bye.

*Brennan leaves to do the obvious*

Wendell- LOL.

Gordon Wyatt- In other news...I'm really stupid...

Sweets- *face palm*

Sully- This chapter of Bones Therapy Session was brought to you bye...

YourKarmaHitMyDharma

and...President Barrack Obama...

Obama- YES WE CAN!

Hannah- I'M EVILLLLLL-

*Cam hits her with a frying pan, hehehhhehehehehe...*

End

..

..

**Sooooo... I still got it? Eh?...**

**review so I know if I do!**

**More chappies coming...sorrryyyy for the sort chap BTW**

**Brennan is currently farting in a shoe box and won't stop until she knows what you think! just sayingg...**


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay so this is going to be really short because I'm super duper busy! But I still think it's...adequate? Enjoy!**

**I still don't own anything...*mumbles* Hart Hanson does. **

**..**

**..**

Chapter Whatever-The-Heck-It-Is

In Which People Are Random...Obviously

_Welcome back to the most awesome place on the planet! Everyone is sitting in their RADICAL fluffy chairs...everyone except...MICHAEL! Why? You may ask. Well. He died. Okay moving on..._

Sweets- Okay! How is everyone today?

Angela- Still preggo.

Brennan- Still badass.

Hannah- Still hated.

Brennan- *shocked* I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU! What are you...a...weird-blonde-demon...person?

Hannah- Uh...no? I just come back to life due to my extreme-evilness...hehe...evilness.

Booth- DIE YOU BARF-HEAD! *Starts throwing random objects at his 'girlfriend'. she eventually dies (again) due to being hit in the head by a frying pan...ohh good times.*

Sweets- I have no comment about these previous actions...*sighs*...can't anyone just be normal...for like a second?

Hodgins- Dude. We couldn't even if we wanted to...if we did we would spontaneously combust. Or something... Fool? Why do I say fool all the time? Am I medievial? Is that even how you spell medeival? Mediaval? WHAT?

Wendell- I lost you at 'Dude'.

Brennan- Hmmm...so did I.

Wendell- CANNONBALL! *jumps out of window*

Cam- I really don't understand his need of having to jump out of a window every five seconds...

Michelle- I think you need to feed your chickens.

Cam- What? I don't have any chickens.

Michelle- OMG. SHUTTTUPP MOM. *Starts to scream and runs out of room dramatically*

Cam- What...just happened?

Fischer- *yawns* Life..life just happened man. It's all just...blackness inside of my undead heart. Y'know?

Cam- Sure...

Fischer- Depressing sweetness...Dudee...*Continues to listen to the 'Finding Nemo' soundtrack on his Ipod* Don't worry Nemo...you'll find your way home eventually.

Sweets- Wow...?

Brennan- Blah blah blah blah...

Sweets- Are you just trying to take up room on this chapter to make it seem longer?

Brennan- ...maybe... NITTY-GRITTY. Okay I'm good. Hmm...OH I have a joke!

Booth- YAY! TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME-

Brennan- Why...was six afraid of seven?

Booth- AHH! IDK!

Brennan- BECAUSE...SEVEN ATE NINE! HHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Booth- *laughs so hard he dies. But since he's Booth he comes back to life again. Brennan slaps him but they make-up again with a deep Booth and Brennan moment.*

Angela- That was weird. But yet I'm pregnant. ME. Angele-friggin-Montenegro. UGH. Might as well call the Teen-Mom crew.

Hodgins- What does that have to do with anything?

Angela- Uh...fool.

Hodgins- THAT'S MY GIRL! *Grins* Ohh...I have weird hair. *giggles*

Brennan- I think we should all just believe in ourselves!

Garvedigger- AMMENNNN SISTER! Ha-ha...look at how the author spelled my name! WHAT A SILLY GOOSE!

Me- LOL.

Wendell- *on facebook*

_Status- In a room with a bunch of dumbos. FTW! Not. txtt it up! Window partayy later at Socko's! WOOT WOOT!_

_(Socko, God, Ghandi, Marylin Monroe, Barrack Obama, and Simon Cowell like this)_

Brennan- Am...am i really a dumbo? Are my ears really that big? *cries*

Booth- *comforting Bones* Aww Sweetie-chunk-muffin...Don't cry!

Hodgins- Well WHOOP-DEE-DOO! Fool.

Cam- I don't get your face.

Clark- Say WHAAAAAAAT?

Wendell- OMG. Like totaly STFU! WTH is your PROB? YASGJHWGKDFHSDGFKJGSDHF!

Sweets- I had no idea what that last one was...

Gravedigger- Like DUH! It totally meant _You are such goodness Jesus hot walrus great kid dudes fries hot South Dakota gratitude friggin Kennedy jokes gibberish sun dance hollywood flick-_How could you NOT know that?

Sweets- *sarcastically* Oh, I should have known.

Gravedigger- Pshh, YEAH!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer- HI! I'M BUFFY!

Booth- Do I know you?

Buffy- Haha?

Sweets- GET OUT.

Buffy- Wow...you're like uber-cranky. *leaves*

Brennan- I'm Brennan the badass and I approve this chapter.

..

..

**Wendell thinks you should review. And who denies Jesus's commands? NOT ME! lmao.**

**Review for the...badasses of this country! Otherwise Brennan will scientist-you-to-death...that's right.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay so here is...Chapter...let me check *Please hold (elevator music)* TWENTY! Ahhhh! Let's have a chapter twenty party! YAY! Let's celebrate by your reviews. Haha...**

**I don't own anything except for me...oh yes.**

Chapter TWENTY! AHHH!

_In Which It Is Chapter Twenty_

_Let's just skip the introduction and go straight to the action...eh?_

Sweets- Omg...omg..omg YOU GUYS? It is like TOTALLY chapter twenty. OMFG. I'm totally freaking out here. *Breathes in a paper bag*

Booth- *tearing up* I know! It feels like just yesterday you grew a perm! *cries* Oh, how I miss the good 'ol days!

Brennan- I don't...back then I was stupid. NOW IMMA BADASS. Ohh how I love freedom and it's ways of awesomeness?

Hodgins- I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MEDIEVAL! Medial? Medvial? Medevil? AHH.

Angela- *pats him on back* Don't worry, Babe. if you believe...you shall acheive. THE POWER WITHIN!

Wendell- Y'Know...windows just have this unique beauty to them...It's like. you get to see what's outside...but you can't actually go outside. Because there's glass in between. Unless you open the window of course. Then you can easily go from inside to out. It's like a whole friggin philosophy.

*Jumps out of...ugh. Do I really need to say?*

Gravedigger- I prefer doors...

Cam- Is that she? Where was you?

Michaelle- OMG MOM THAT IS TOTAL IMPROPER ENGLISH. YOU ARE SO EMBARRASING! THE AUTHOR SPELLED EMBARASSING WRONG ON PURPOSE BECAUSE SHE'S TOO LAZY TO FIX IT.

Me- True that, homie.

Sweets- *Finally receding from the paper bag* Okay, ahem...I think we should go around in a triangle and tell our favorite memories of these sessions.

Zack- HEY! I haven't talked in a while!...Anyway, Why should we?

Sweets- Because I said so.

Angela- OMG I love that movie!

Sweets- *facepalm* Ugh... Alright Brennan why dont you start.

Brennan- Obviously when I became a badass...beottcchhhhh..ha-ha I'm SOO mean.

Sweets- Umm...how about you Booth?

Booth- When I ate pie.

Sweets- That's it?

Booth- Yeppers.

Sweets- Alright...?

Angela- Mine is when I-

Sweets- Okay, you know what? We're done with this..No more excersises or any of that crap. Just...continue to be...turd-munchers... or something.

Hodgins- Turd-Munchers? Seriously? Nothing can beat my 'fool' catch-phrase...SUCKER. Ahem, FOOL. Speaking of fool...

*whips out a magic wand and up pops Michael (known for his famous WAAALLLTTTT thingy) Michael is obviously happy that he's alive again. But since some people don't like him...the fans hit him with a hairy-mouth...I have no idea what it is...but it kills him, or puts him in a comatose state. Whatever pleases your Febreeze.*

Hodgins-Oh, Lady-Gaga-Cakes...I messed up again.

Brennan- DARN IT, SOCIETY!

Hart Hanson- Ugh...you were supposed to be smart when I created you.

Brennan- Daddy?

Hart- WTF?

Brennan- D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-daddyyyy? *cries*

Hart- DARN YOU, CHILDHOOD-TRAUMA-CLICHES! Hmm...is that how you spell cliches? Clishes? Blah.

Booth- Dayyyuuummmmm...

Howard Epps- Do yo thing, honey.

Clark- Say Whaaaaaaaaaat?

Fischer- All of you are too...positive. You should come to the dark side...of the room. See in that corner over there? *points to corner* THERE ARE FRIGGIN SNICKERDOODLES OVER THERE! They really mean it when they say 'come to the dark side...we have cookies.'

Sweets- You're a weirdy.

Fischer- I know...But I'm not kidding, dude. Those snickerdoodles are delicious.

Sully- SO IS MY HAIR!

Parker and Rebecca- AMEN!

Goodman- Wow, how long has it been since I said anything? JEEZZZ. Talk about five-hour-energy.

Sweets- That doesn't make sense.

Goodman- _When does it?_

Gordon Wyatt- That was BLOODY cryptic, lad.

Booth- What, are you Irish now? Huh? With your little tea-cups and...and shiny hats?

Gordon- Sure.

Booth- EPIC WIN.

_And they all celebrated the twentieth anniversary. THE END._

_.._

_.._

**_Okay I know it was short. Ha-ha  
_****_. Please review? Otherwise you won't get any sleep tonight due to Clark's 'SAY WHAAAAAT's'_**

**Please...drive safely.**

**Review!**


	21. Chapter 21

****

**Okay so here's chapter twenty-one! But before I explain the chapter...let me rant for a minute, Okay so two weeks ago I had surgery...oral surgery (which, by the way, I was NOT sedated for...ugh) So I couldn't play basketball (my favorite sport) for a few weeks. (we're in the A division) Baha. _Anyway_...we had a tournament this weekend and I STILL can't frickin play. I HATE MOUTHS. So I'm pretty POed. Here's a tip...NEVER HAVE ORAL SURGERY. It stinks.**

And on to the chapter in which I sadly do not own...

Chapter Twenty-One

In Which Stuff Sucks

..

..

_No introduction for today...wait, does this count as one? No...but, then what is this? I'm confused. Ugh._

Sweets- Um...Lovely, introduction...our holy and amazing author? Ahem, So welcome back! Today we are going to...do some fun and exciting activities such as...STRETCHING!

Angela- Um...I can't. I'm pregnant. AHH.

Hodgins- GAH, YES YOU ARE!*Speaks gibberish while grinning, being obviously happy that he's gonna be a daddy!*

Brennan- I don't want to stretch. It's a total turn off for my badass self. *files nails.*

Sweets- *offended* Ugh! What else is a turn off for you?

Brennan- Hmm...non-badass people...Sully, basketball jerseys, dry skin, over-moisturized skin, normal skin, green skin, blue skin, green eggs and ham, and...Hodgins.

Sweets- Hmm...that's very interesting...I thought dry skin _was a turn on._

Brennan- YOUUU, are a MORONNN.

Booth- THAT'S MY GIRRLLL! I wuv you vewy muuch.

Brennan- SHUT UP AND FETCH ME THE NUKES, disobedient minion!

Booth- Ohhkaayy! *skips off and fetches the nukes...yep*

Hodgins- Fool.

Cam- I'm still dating the woman-part guy!

Michelle- Woman-part guy?

Cam- Yeeaaahh! The guy who...looks...at...woman...parts?

Angela- That is so wrong and non-sexy at the same time. EVERYTHING MUST BE SEXYY!

Wendell- I'm going to jump out a window now...AND HERE WEE GOO!

*Wendell jumps out the opening in the wall in which it is called a window...thus, thy, thou, shall...ha-ha...*

Hannah- I'm BAAACKKK! And my nasal-ly voice is GONE. HAHA.

Brennan- DIE, YOU EVIL DEMON!

*Brennan turns into a vampire and kills Hannah...VICTORY IS OURS!*

Brennan- *chuckles* I killed her...

Sweets- Yeah...we saw.

Brennan- Ha-ha...yeah.

Booth- LET IT RIP, HOWARD!

Howard Epps- *farts* HA-HA. That was like a MEGA fart!

Booth- LOL.

Angela- Eww...that's disgusting.

Booth- No, Angie..that is SCIENCE! **A fart is a combination of gases** (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide) that travels from a person's stomach to their anus. When a person swallows too much air or eats foods that the human digestive system cannot digest easily gas becomes trapped in his/her stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the anus-

Angela- OKAY, okay...I get the point. Jeez.

Brennan- DON'T SAY JEEZ TOT MY HUSBAND...uh, freak? Gah, I can't insult today.

Hodgins- You can't insult _any_ day, smart one...ahem, FOOL.

Clark- SAY WHAAAAT?

Fischer- ACE ACE OWN IN THE FACE!

Gravedigger- Isn't that a cheer for volleyball?

Fischer- No...I made it up in my journal of darkness and death.

Gravedigger- Okaaaaay?

Daisy- I HAVE A CHEERRRRRR! AHHHHHHHHHH.

Sweets- Ugh...

Daisy- Go...wildcats?

Sweets- How am I even interested in you?

Daisy- Because I'm awesome.

Sweets- Your mouth annoys me.

*silence*

Cam- Fish...sticks?

Brennan- YAYYY! Where?

*Brennan jumps out of window. Booth freaks out but is relieved when he hears Brennan scientifically naming off all her injuries. It is actually quite humorous.*

Booth- La-dee-da! *farts*

Max Keenan- I shall kill you in thy wrath of thou something!

Parker- O ANCEINT OF DAYS!...and bacon.

Green Guy- HI!

Sweets- Who are you?

Green Guy- I'm the Green Guy! And I'm here to end this chapter...right now..

Sweets- NOOOOOOOOO- *cut off by the closing of the chapter*

-closing of the chapter-

**Did you like it? Maybe you should tell me in the reviews? Yes? OKAY! **

**Please review! It makes my day a little brighter! And I'm goiong to start replying to them! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! Yay!**

**(I'm not really this annoying. ha-ha.)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay so here is chapter 22. But before I start, I would just like to ramble off about something... I got my first hate review. And usually I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, I would usually just delete it and move on...But sadly, I was in a bad mood that day. And that one review did not just piss me off, it offended me, too. So let me just say this to whoever sent that review...this is MY story, NOT YOURS. I WILL NOT change the plot...I WILL NOT make it more mature...and I get good reviews on this because people actually LIKE this and ENJOY this story. I make people laugh with this. I'm sorry if that's offending to you. But you will NOT tell me how to write my own story. I am the author. Not you. So if you have a problem with that, don't come whining to me. It's not my fault you can't enjoy something different once in a while.**

**Thank You, You're Welcome, and Goodbye.**

**Now that I got that off my chest... Please enjoy.**

Chapter Twenty-Two

In Which Us Bones Fans Hate Hiatuses

_It's a fabulous day in Washington DC! Booth is dramatically staring at a picture of Brennan as if she dead or something...Sweets is eating sweets...Ha-ha, I HAD to use that one...AND Angela is listing every possible sexy thing on this planet...because it's sexy to do...alright? DEAL WITH IT. Now off the introduction and ON TO THE STORY!_

Sweets- OMG. I am SOOO sober right now it's not even funny.

Booth- *looking up from the picture of Brennan* Isn't it the other way around? *goes back to staring at the 'Brennan' photo like a creeper.*

Sweets- Um, no? Usually for these sessions I'm completely slizzard.

Angela- What the heck is 'slizzard'?

Sweets- HEL-LOOOO? Have you EVER listened to 'Like A G6'? My GOD, Angela, you are SOOO out of WHACK!

Brennan- The badass side of me wants to insult you...but the awesome side of me wants to eat nine-year-old cheese...So...

Booth- And that, my love, is why I am crazy about you.

Brennan- *in the middle of stuffing her face with cheese* Whaaaat?

Booth- YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

Brennan- Ohhhkaaaayy? *Cheese falls out of her mouth*

Cam- CAUSE I'M A CHICK PLAYING A CHICK ACTING LIKE ANOTHER CHICK.

Clark- SAY WHAAAAAAT?

Hodgins- Ahem, fool...I JUST OWNED YOU!

Hannah- I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK! And I'm _immortal_. TAKE THAT BRENNAN.

Brennan- *breathing heavily* My...name...is...DR...BRENNAN..._DOCTOR_!

*Kills Hannah by throwing her into the Mona Lisa...ahh...just another creative-but-confusing idea...*

Brennan- Not so immortal now, are ya?

Fischer- Oops I did it again..played with your heart-

Vincent Murray- I SWEAR TO GOD...If you DON'T STOP singing that demon-spawned song I will RIP YOU'RE HEAD IN TWO PIECES AND FEED IT TO THE WEREWOLVES.

Fischer- Just another depressing act of sadness...*sighs*

Michelle- GAH GAH GAHH...

Cam- WTF?

*Cam stands up but the Random Frying Pan of Doom kills her.*

Hodgins- ALL HAIL THE RANDOM FRYING PAN OF DOOM!

Wendell- AND JESUS!

*Wendell jumps out of window...because he's Jesus...hehe.*

*A random kitty pops up onto Fischer's lap*

Fischer- AHHHHHHH! Kitty! I shall call you fishy and you shall be my fishy...thus being my Fishy Kitty. *spazzes out*

Sweets- Fishy Kitty? Wow, ummm...alright?

Brennan- BOW DOWN TO ME.

Michael- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLTTTTT!

Booth- HE'S BACK!

Michael- Yes...WAALTT...I am back!

Booth- DIEEEEEE! *takes out a bazooka and shoots Michael which kills him...haha I'm evil today*

Sweets- I just noticed two things...One: The title of the chapter has nothing to do with the content in the actual chapter...and Two: The author is on a killing frenzy right now.

Me- HECK YES.

Barrack Obama- I'M BARRACK OBAMA. YES WE CAN.

Hodgins- SHUT UP OBAMA. Ahem, we will now end this chapter. Goodbye. Don't drink and Drive.

Sweets- I like to drink...SYRUP!

Angela- *facepalm*

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**Review. But no haters are allowed to do that. Are you a hater? ARE YOUUU?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Why, hello there! It certainly has been awhile! To make up for my long absence I will give you...THE NEXT CHAPTER! **

**I don't own anything. If I did, I'd have **_**my assistant**_** writing this for me...yeah.**

**..**

**..**

It's Been So Long I Forgot Which Chapter It Is

_In Which I Write Another Chappie!_

_.._

_.._

Sweets- Well, HELLO THERE!

Brennan- ELLOOOO!

Sweets- Ahem, welcome back from the super duper long hiatus! I missed all of you!

Angela- Ewe. I didn't.

Sweets- I won't take that to offense since I know it's just your hormones.—

Angela- Who said anything about hormones? You little angel-poopy?

Sweets- Wow...did you _seriously _just call me an _angel-poopy?_ That's mature.

Angela- Your mom...

Booth- OWNED.

Cam- I think we should address the fact that my daughter is going to college! It's a big step for our relationship!

Michelle- Okay, ONE: You made that sound like we were romantically involved...which makes you a creeper. And, TWO: Thank GOD I'm going to college! You always talk about that Woman-Part-Guy 24-7!

Cam- I'm sorry! But I can't help love! *cries* HE LOOKS AT WOMAN'S PRIVATE PARTS!

Michelle- You. Are. A. Weird-o.

Hodgins- YOUR UNCLE!

Booth- OWNED.

Sweets- *face palm*

Brennan- I'm still a badass, by the way.

Hodgins- We know...fool. Ha-ha that NEVER gets old!

Brennan- YOU'RE STOOPID!

Angela- Um...did she just spell stupid with two O's?

Booth- Yes. I believe the author was trying to be humorous. I applaud her attempt.

Hodgins- CONSPIRACIES!

Michael- -

Walt- SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!

*Walt hits Michael in the head with an oboe (ha-ha...) and Michael (obviously) dies...again*

Sweets- How could... *extremely long pause*...YOUUUUUUU!

Cam- What was with that extremely long pause?

Sweets- I was pausing for dramatic effect! *wiggles eyebrows*

Brennan- Well...you failed. And I forgot where I live...and what two plus two is. *pause* Where am I? Is this Heaven? *looks at Wendell* JESUS?

Wendell- It is me...my sister. I have come back from heaven! TO SAVE YOU! AND JUMP OUT A WINDOW!

*Wendell jumps out of window because that's just how awesome he is.*

Hodgins- WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

Angela- Your great-grandpa.

Brennan-MARY?

Angela- Who the heck is Mary?

Brennan- Ummm...mom?

Angela- *sighs* everyone's a critic...

Sweets- That has nothing to do with anything...

Angela- SHUT UP.

Sweets- STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS!

Gravedigger- I think we should all just take a deep breath and think about killing people by burying them with a limited-supply of oxygen—

Howard Epps- GO AWAY.

Gravedigger- You are a poop-butt. *Walks out of room.

Sweets- Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...GOODBYE!

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End.

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**I'm sorry I know it's short but I'm super busy! I'll update with a longer chapter later on!**

**I'm sorry and I'll be back!**

**Please review! It motivates me!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Well…I'm back! WITH MY NEW FRICKIN LAPTOP! Ahem…Yes. Enjoy…And I apologize for the extremely long hiatus. I was busy.**

**I don't own anything**

**..**

Chapter…I lost count.

In Which I Am Back, Baby!

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Sweets- You know what I just noticed? These chapter titles are really stupid…AND the author COMPLETELY ignored the introduction! What a cauliflower head!

Angela- You are extremely judgmental…. And I am extremely pregnant. *giggles*

Sweets- Yes…You are pregnant. I applaud your vast ocean of knowledge.

Angela- ARE YOU MOCKING ME?

Sweets- No…

Angela- Okay.

Brennan- I gave up on being a badass.

Everyone- *gasps*

Booth- Why?

Brennan- It was too much work…and I kept on forgetting my name. So…that doesn't really help the situation.

Max Keenan- *pulls up his shirt to reveal his beer-belly* THE SITUATION! THE SICCCHUAAATIONNNNN!

Sweets- *face palm*

Brennan- Oh, god…

Booth- I LOVE YOU TEMPERANCE BRENNAN!

Brennan- Shut up. You rejected me…so shut up.

Hodgins- *lifts up a coffee-table and turns it around* OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!

Wendell- CONSPIRACIES! *jumps out of window*

Hannah- STOP KILLING ME! I'm perfect! *flips hair*

*We kill Hannah in a creative way*

Sully- SAME HERE, GIRLFRIEND! *flips his hair*

*We kill Sully in a creative way*

Hodgins- What a turd-sniffer…fool.

Angela- If Hodgins is God….and I'm having his baby…would my baby be Jesus?

Wendell- *pops up out of nowhere* BUT I'M JESUS!

Angela- So my baby is going to be Wendell? EWW…I'm going to give birth to my ex-boyfriend!

Booth- *whispers to Howard Epps* Awkward… *Howard nods in agreement*

Brennan- *gasps dramatically* It's like a soap opera! We could call it…'The Bones of Life'…*stares off dramatically into nowhere*

Sweets- That's…weird.

Brennan- Define weird…

Sweets- I'm too lazy to Google it. *sighs*

Cam- I feel ignored.

Michelle- Because you're a…a…Ugh I ran out of insults.

Gravedigger- SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

*DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU WANT TO BE SPOILER-FREE*

Gravedigger- Did you hear my brains will be blown up in the next episode? IT'S LIKE MY WILDEST DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!

Booth- I don't like you…You buried Bones alive…that was mean…I don't like you….go away…

Gravedigger- You make my soul feel anger within itself….

Michael- WAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLTTTTTTT-

Walt- SHUT UP! You are so freaking annoying! You don't even belong to this show so SHUT UP. No one cares if you got blown up! No one cares if you were on a freaking plane crash! GO AWAY. MY GOD.

Michael- Wow…that was pretty intense…

Sweets- Ugh…I hate losties…

Angela- HOLLA IF YOU'RE A BONESIE! And that means YOU readers and reviewers! I MEAN IT. If you want this baby to be born than you WILL REVIEW. Ahem…

Sweets- That was really hardcore…I feel sorry for your kids.

Angela- *sighs* Yeah, I do too.

Brennan- I LOVE YOU SEELEY BOOTH!

Booth- I LOVE YOU TEMPERANCE BRENNAN!

*They go through a really intense B/B moment and start to make-out…Ah, how I love my imagination.*

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**Review if you hate Hannah and/or Sully and/or any murderer ever existing!**

**HOLLA IF YOU'RE A BONESIE! (If you're a fan of Bones….duh…)**


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